Dead Rooster Walking
Not the rooster from outside my bedroom (and the focus of the subject line). Just one of a million others.
Greetings from Kauai, Hawaii…otherwise known as “Rooster Island.”
There are many explanations ranging from Filipino immigrants bringing over fighting roosters (and losing track of them) to a lack of mongoose to the fallout and destruction of several million (my guess) hen houses during Hurricane Iniki in 1992…but the bottom line is that the place is freaking overrun with the bastards. And they WILL NOT shut up about it.
Over the last three nights, I have developed a personal theory that rooster crowing – clearly no longer just to signal daybreak – is more like incessant dog barking. In other words, it’s a pointless, worthless, and unending checking-in with other canines (or in this case, other Gallus domesticus) within earshot.
My interpretation of the average rooster cacophony heard at all hours on Kauai:
“Hey! Hey! I’m here!”
“Hey! You over there! I’m over here!”
“Really? What are you doing?”
“I’m crowing!”
“I’m crowing too!”
“Cool! What time is it there?”
“It’s 3:30 a.m.. What time is it there?”
“It’s 3:30 a.m. here too!”
“Cool. And you’re crowing?”
“Yeah. I’m crowing like a madman. What are you doing?”
etc. etc. etc.
Lucky for the roosters, I’m only here for a week. I’m not making any direct threats, but I suspect a longer stay may result in my opening of a restaurant with one thing on the menu: Coq au Vin. A new natural predator has entered the ecosystem.
Meanwhile, there is one living (from the sound of it) in a bush under the window by my bed. He may have another thing coming. The locals have advised me that you can spray them with a pellet gun (which is apparently as effective as it is fun), but I didn’t exactly pack that in my bag. Plus, I’ve never cold blooded murdered anything but a few insects, and I’m not sure I’m up for the challenge, no matter how obnoxious the prey. On the other hand, I’m thinking I would look mighty fine in a headdress of colorful rooster feathers.
In other words, I face a complex dilemma, and I have five more days to work it out. I’ll keep you posted…
Until then, cockle doodle doo!
Tags: Gallus domesticus, Gallus domesticus annoyingus, Humor, Kanalei Kauai, Kauai, Kauai Hawaii, Kauai Hawaii travel, Kauai travel, Life, rooster crowing, roosters crowing all day and night, roosters on Kauai, roosters that never shut up, Travel, Wainiha Kauai
Your article is hilarious and I know exactly what you are talking about! Did you make a headdress from the rooster feathers?
Thanks for submitting your article to our Hawaii Carnival. Come back and visit us!
Well, thank you! Much obliged!
I was ready to roll on the rooster headdress, but figured I might be violating some kind of cruelty to animals statute. Thought for next time: Make it look like an ‘accident’.
Carnival of Travelingbeats - 1st Edition | TravelingBeats
[...] Wolf presents Dead Rooster Walking posted at Wide Awake in [...]
I’m still giggling. I used to love that sound when I was sick at home — it was a reassurance that everything was okay and the rest of the World was normal, even when I thought I was dying.
Of course ours were kind enough to stay quiet at night. Hmmm… just keep the lights off I guess. Thanks for putting a humorous twist on it!
Carnival of Travelingbeats - 3rd Edition | TravelingBeats
[...] Wolf presents Dead Rooster Walking posted at Wide Awake in [...]