You both raise good points about privacy and prostitution, but for the right price – I’m thinking something in the high six/low seven figure range [dollar, pound, or Euro] – I will be setting up shop from my zoo habitat. Just don’t be throwing peanuts and popcorn into my cage. I’m on a special diet.

…..On January 9, the National Zoo’s animal care team noticed increased interaction between our adult giant pandas, female Mei Xiang and male Tian Tian, including distinctive vocalizations that are associated with mating season. Staff immediately began monitoring Mei Xiang’s hormone levels…
and who needs that?
Mei was heard to mumble, loosely translated “Can’t a Panda get some privacy here?”

Now, you may want to have a rethink here. I’m thinking it may not be such a good idea, this Zoo thing, unless you’re a complete exhibitionist, in which case, its fine. You see, I’m also thinking that you’re very, how shall we shall we say……unique ?? and obviously as a one of a kind, you’d be considered close to extinction, and as such would be subject to a very closely monitored breeding program. The handlers, or pimps, call them what you will, would introduce a chosen mate, and would be recording the events for future study / amusement / X-Rated productions ( delete as applicable ).