My Best Tax Tips!
Makes my blood run cold just looking at it.
I am not an accountant, and I hate doing taxes.
Nontheless, despite my pledges that THIS is the year I hire a pro, there I am on April 14th: installing TurboTax, rifling through mountains of paper, and drinking heavily.
However, along the way, my pain is your gain. I have picked up some tips, and with April 15 on the horizon, I thought I’d share them with you.
1. 2 cats + 1 dog = 1 dependent deduction
2. If you have ever worked or thought about work while in your home, it is now an office. Take a deduction!
3. If you wear glasses, go ahead and click the box for ‘legally blind.’ If they call you on it later, just say you had a fierce case of hysterical blindness that has happily reversed itself.
This is the chia puppy. Get three for a break on your taxes!
4. 2 ferrets + 6 goldfish + 3 chia pets = 1 dependent deduction
5. The adorable bowler hat, amazing new purse, and 4″ green patent heels you couldn’t resist buying? Uniform, uniform, uniform. Deduct it, baby!
6. A tip from my mother with respect to dry cleaning charges: “Claim it until they tell you to stop.” She actually IS an accountant. Seriously.
7. Cook the books! (I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Like something Martha Stewart might do! She’s been to jail. She’s not worried about it.)
8. Owner of six or more mammals of any race, breed, species, or creed? Mark yourself down as head of household.
9. Be certain to sign all your returns as “Bozo the Clown.” It helps your tax lawyer get you a lighter sentence on grounds of insanity later on.
Happy FIling!
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[...] Wide Awake in Wonderland added an interesting post on My Best Tax Tips!Here’s a small excerptMakes my blood run cold just looking at it.I am not an accountant, and I hate doing taxes.Nontheless, despite my pledges that THIS is the year I hire a pro, there I am on April 14th: installing TurboTax, rifling through mountains of paper, and drinking heavily. However, along the way, my pain is your gain. I have picked up some tips, and with April 15 on the horizon, I thought I’d share them with you.1. 2 cats + 1 dog = 1 dependent deduction2. If you have ever worked or thought about work while [...]
Unreimbursed employee expenses – don’t forget to deduct all those lattes you got ON the way to work – hell, you couldn’t even go to work without them – darn employer – should have been able to put them on the expense report – don’t worry though – everyone from AIG does it!
…don’t foget to deduct all the tea, coffee, and buiscuits, your home is your office remember, and a workplace has to have refreshments !! I’m also assuming that the half dozen moles + foxes + deer in the garden count as another dependant ??
I’m not married. Do you think I can deduct my porn expenses and if I get receipts from my call girls. Then claim a dependent. This stuff racks up?
My friend says I can. I thought I’d run it buy you guys.
And I’m sure that all those yoga, tai chi and line dancing lessons qualify as continuing education, right?
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[...] Wolf presents My Best Tax Tips! posted at Wide Awake in Wonderland, saying, “Hi, This is HUMOROUS, so if that’s not of [...]
Vanessa. I have been waiting for your blogg. Ki you really need to step up your game.
Is something else taking your focus away from writing? Everyone can spit, But few can spit around the corner.
Just a tip from your old uncle Dors
Thanks for the inspiration!
Keep it coming!
I love a good slightly nonsensical trash talking…