Hold the phone!
What’s that you say!?
Extremely time-consuming job for a writer!?
Focused on the North Idaho Organized Crime scene!?
Wait. Hold the phone for real this time.
No, I mean it. Put the phone down. Put it on hold or promise to call back and hang up.
Ummmm….
Is there a North Idaho in Sicily?
You’re talking about Idaho? Like in the United States?
Okay. If you say so.
Federales is spelled wrong, but whatever. Apparently you were tangling with them and not pen-palling with them. And you’re looking for a ghost writer, so I guess it isn’t fair that I pick on you for not being able to spell (uniagnosed ADHD, extrodinary, succesfull, isnt, right writer. Just sayin’…)
However, lest I continue to discuss this outstanding example of Craigslist without letting everyone else in on the moment, let me cut and paste your ad here:
Writer Wanted For Ex North Idaho Drug Kingpin:
Looking for someone to write life story, unique story, unique Individual. Story consists of dealings with Colombians,Cubans, Mexican Federallies, 16 years in prison hanging out with mafia members from the Phildelphia Scarfo gang, Charlie Iannache, Anthony Pungitore, Gene Gotti-brother of John Gotti of the New York Mafia, being successful jail house lawyer. Story begins with the consequences for a boy with a gifted IQ who deals with uniagnosed ADHD and the path he takes in life through taking over the underbelly of the drug world,prison,self inflicted extrodinary rehabilitation efforts to his succesfull entrance back into society. This isnt some run of the mill drug dealer story! I SHOULD BE DEAD A HUNDRED TIMES OVER. GOD HAD HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER TO GET THROUGH IT. ps: All Statue of Limitations are finished and all prison time completed. The story just needs to be told by a gifted writer. If interested, please submit writing proposal/compensation plans. I would prefer to give the writer a portion of proceeds, but would pay the right writer to do the story. Follow up to the book would be self help videos/books for children-parents-educators-inmates to not go down the path I took, or to change an inmates life around through education.
- Location: SEATTLE
- Compensation: writer to submit required compensation/or proceeds from book
- OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
- Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
- Please, no phone calls about this job!
- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Be still my heart.
I love you, Craigslist.
I too had a high IQ and undiagnosed…wonderfulness? Adorable Human Syndrome? (AHS. Don’t laugh. It has its down side. Such as being stalked. Twice.) Possible wheat intolerance (perhaps more on that one day. From my toilet.)
I too have known Colombians and Cubans and been to Philadelphia!!!
I have no idea who the rest of those people are, but I love the colorful names. The only thing missing are the fun nicknames like Charlie ‘The Tuna’ Iannache, Anthony Pungent Pungitore, and Pee Wee Herman.
If you ask me, this is both ridiculous…and strangely compelling.
Really.
A non-paying questionable gangsta scene playa gig that PAYS NOTHING.
And yet…
I’m compelled. Tell me why I SHOULDN’T write him. Because I kind of want to.
p.s.
My favorite part is the self-help videos for high-IQ kids considering mafia activity in poor, remote areas of rural America. The forgotten Appalachia. I get it. I’m into it. I’m on it.
p.p.s.
I know the blog still looks, well, like crap, but I wasn’t kidding when I said this was totally over my head. Thank you, Chad, for your feedback. I passed it onto to someone who may (god willing) be willing and able to fix this (totally innocent, and I cannot even believe my bad luck, and I’m not willing to focus on it. Cleansing karma, cleansing karma, cleansing karma…!!!!!) snafu.
Tags: funny random observations, funny random stories, ghost writing, ghost writing for a self-proclaimed Mafia dude, ghost writing humor, Ghost writing opportunities, Humor, humorous blog, humorous observations, humorous random observations, humorous storytelling, Life, North Idaho druglord, North Idaho Mafia, North Idaho Organized Crime, pointless random observations, random humorous observations, random musings, random sh*t floating around in my head, random stories, Should I write this dude looking for a ghost writer?
Sounds like a surefire hit to me. Go for it. Its been nice knowing you ;o)…..
P.S. – I’m also guessing he’d let you write the story in return for a tiny downpayment of $1000 ???
P.P.S. – I’m also thinking that writing for Mafia / Druglord types would be kinda like checking in the Hotel California, if ya get my drift ??
No worries, V. on the website. If you can’t work things out, just send me an email and I’ll be happy to help you out.
P.S. – I would say “sure, take the job”, but I enjoy reading your blog, and it would be sorely missed
.
At first I thought AHS read as Adorable Hymen Syndrome, then cleared my eyes and reread it correctly.
“Compensation: writer to submit required compensation/or proceeds from book”
I’m not in the publishing industry but is $15,000 up front or 35% of book sales asking too much? And what of rights to a movie script if it happens?