It’s always something

Or is that just me?

Regardless, today’s ‘something’ is a little dance with death. I don’t know where the heck this came from, but sometime late this morning, my digestive tract decided it would be happier outside my body and attempted to flee through any and all available orifices.

Happily, I was able to bring in a hostage negotiator and keep my internal organs on the scene and inside my skeleton, but just barely.

If that weren’t enough, I threw in a fever and some insanely ouchy body aches (from the hours of 2pm to 5pm, I literally relived the growing pains of my youth) and, of course, the occasional blindingly painful round of cramping. The weirdest thing with the body aches is that they are highlighting the mild soreness of every muscle used during my workout yesterday…which as near as I can tell, is all of them except the big toe of my right foot. At the moment, my left foot is actively hurting.

It’s been a rough freaking day.

I glimsped the face of The Grim Reaper, and he looked a lot like Hugh Hefner.

I recently read this thing about the Christian Scientists and how they don’t believe in illness (it’s just an error in thinking), and I’m down with that. At least today.

Acknowledging that it may sound crazy, I am visualizing myself well…while keeping off the two pounds I no doubt lost today. When I lose weight the hard way, the only possible justification is to have it be permanent.

Now to try to drag the final three pages of my ten-page quota out of my aching arms and fingers and woozy brain, because I am one hard-core dedicated lady and that’s how I roll.

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6 Responses to “It’s always something”

  1. Maxx AKA Marky Mark

    Forgive me, for some bizarre reason, when you said digestive tract, I had a vision of intestines instead, and a kind of vision courtesy of Hannibal, I’m sure you know the bit I mean without having to graphically describe him being cut open at the belly, tossed over a balcony, then left being hung by a rope while his intestines unravel gracefully to the floor with a large splat !!! Ahhhh…..I seem to have described it already…….oh what the heck……

  2. wideawakeinwonderland

    Mark, You read my mind/feel my pain. I couldn’t have described it better myself. I do feel like my intestines are being wound around a stick by a deranged maniac.
    Off to the doctor in about 30 minutes to find out whether or not I’m going to live…

  3. Maxx AKA Marky Mark

    So – Do you have something curable ?? or is it, as most of us now believe, that you were on that spaceship with Ripley, and that you too are due to have an alien burst out of your stomach some time soon ??

  4. Frothy Afterbirth

    Ahhhh yes this sounds like the same event when I was stricken with the stomach flu last year and described it extensively in detail. Everything did came out of my main orifices at exactly the same time and multiple times. The greatest adventure I have experienced and not ever looking forward to revisiting again.

  5. wideawakeinwonderland

    Well, Mark, I have had some things burst out of my stomach over the last four days, but if any of them were an alien, I’m sad to say they didn’t survive the e. Coli.

    Yep. That’s right. It was not the flu in my case (no puking. Not even once.) it was e.Coli I got while swimming laps in a Mexican swimming pool like a total friggin’ idiot.

    It’s the ‘longest pool in Central America’ (which in hindsight should have served as a warning), and each lap was a solid 1/6 mile, so I saw a good opportunity to keep my regular workout regimen (running/swimming/abs + arm work) and went for it. When I saw all the weird white stuff floating in the pool (like tiny flakes of toilet paper or dandruff or something) I should have aborted, but noooooo. I’m not that smart.

    In conclusion, then I got home and proceeded to lose ten pounds, and I’m STILL not right. Yippee!

  6. Frothy Afterbirth

    Oy! Note to self: It’s bad a omen to see anything other than inflatables floating in the water especially in third world countries.