That is my obtuse way of saying thank you for reading this, because at least now I (and my friends and family and the other people who go to my gym) have the comfort of knowing if I lose my mind and start planning to randomly kill and blog about it…you’ll know and possibly stop me.
Actually, if I was going to kill people at my gym, it would be the stupid meathead guys who grunt and groan in the back of the room and then lumber by, shooting the ‘I know you want me’ macho looks at anyone who will make eye contact with them and wear knit hats all year round. What is up with the knit winter hat on a 100 degree day in August? It must have something to do with excessive steroid use.
Oh, I would also take out the weird old Asian guy who smells funny and does all the weights at a super hyped up speed. He’s like the Alvin and the Chipmunks of working out (and has the body to match).
And maybe anyone using the good Stair Master for too long.
Seriously though, I don’t mean to make fun. I’m not even sure why I’m making fun.
I guess because this whole story is so awful it has achieved something of a hysterical pathos in my mind. Like it’s gone so far beyond awful as to become a wee bit funny.
On the other hand, people were killed, and that’s not funny. Thus, going back to my original point, as awful as this whole story is (here’s a link, because I don’t even want to retell it. It’s just too sad. In fact, I only read it because I have a lot of friends and family in Pennsylvania, adn the headline was obscure enough, I wanted to make sure they were all okay) I think it made me more sad that the guy detailed this for a year in a blog and basically he had no readers and so no one ever saw it and at least left a “Hey man. You are insane. Get some help.” comment or anything.
God knows that must’ve only compounded his sense of being an outcast.
Anyone who’s ever written a blog knows the lonely futility of the early days (when the only readers – if there are readers – are lurkers, and you become increasingly convinced that no one is reading), and the pure elation of your first comment: Mine was from someone who wanted me to blog about Thomas Moore, the Care of the Soul guy (and which I failed to do, and now they’re probably long gone. Oh well. You can’t please everybody…)
In fact, next week, when this book is done, I’m going to make it my mission to find five blogs – one for each day – where the person is lamenting that no one is reading, and leave a comment to assure them that I, an actual human being, have read it.
And if I find something where someone is detailing their plans to maim, kill, or commit other acts of terrorism, I will definitely tell someone about it. Or at least let them know about Search Engine Optimization so that they can connect with other wackos and not feel so very alone.