You’re better off with $10 and a dealer
So the Bermuda rains continue, and I’m trying like crazy not to get sick.
My compadres are recovering from swine flu and descending into a cold (and sneezing on every available surface), respectively, but so far, so good. This is largely in part thanks zinc supplements and sheer will, and no thanks to sound sleep, as that is (as you know) sorely lacking.
On the other hand, one upside of rain: awesome tree frogs
Although things were pretty quiet the first few nights, after the rains hit, the darkness exploded in song. At first I thought it was some kind of wacky bird, but my friend straightened me out that it is actually nocturnal tree frogs.
To quote some site from which I copied this and can no longer recall well enough to attribute: “Tree frogs spend their days quietly resting under moist leaf litter and stones. As night falls, they climb up nearby trees. The males then strike up a tune, hoping to attract mates.”
If frogs aren’t your thing, how about some toad licking?
That’s right. Bermuda has those toads you lick that supposedly get you high.
Another quote from another mystery source, “The giant toad (Bufo marinus) is thought to have been introduced to Bermuda in 1875 by Captain Nathaniel Vesey. He brought around 25 from British Guyana to help control the island’s cockroach population. Toads are now found all over the island.”
Nice work, Captain Vesey. Turns out we invented chemicals to deal with the roach stuff, but A for effort. Well, sort of. It didn’t really work. There are plenty of roaches around 135 years later, in case you were wondering.
Anyway, back to the unattributed quotes:
“The toads are about 5 to 6 inches long and are frequently found squashed flat on the road; hence the nickname ‘road toad’. A high percentage of Bermuda’s toads (25%) have abnormalities; 5 legs etc. It is thought this may be due to pesticides, heavy metals, and other contaminants.”
Scree…….!!!!
Um…..
What?
Please tell me this isn’t related to the allegedly clean limestone purified rain water. I really don’t need an extra limb or second head or anything.
“Toads can pose a health risk to pets. When dogs and other pets play with them they feel threatened and release venom from their skin. This can easily kill.”
In addition to the whole, one-time contact with the toads will kill your dog issue, I did a little research on the whole toad licking thing (I didn’t see any – except for the road toad variety – but it’s good to be prepared), and it was complicated and risky. There was stuff about somehow smoking the toad excretions and possible hardcore side effects and well, as the title says, you can get a much safer and more practical psychedelic effect with $10 and a dealer.
Ironically, just now as I’m writing this, the Family Guy where Meg is hiding a Colombian psychdelic toad for the cool kids in the hopes of fitting in is on. Weird, right?
“Mr. Toad, How many licks of you does it take to get to the center of a Long Island State Prison?”
“Just one.”
Tags: As usual I'm really tired, Bermuda toad licking, Bermudian tree frogs, Deformed Bermudian toads, Family Guy, Humor, I almost never get sick, I love Family Guy, I'll add some pictures tomorrow, I'll pass on swine flu. Thanks., If your toad will lick a toad and die maybe you should think twice?, Is toad licking seriously illegal? That's stupid., Life, me me me, My hamstrings are sore., The tree frogs were silent until it rained all day, Toad licking, Toad licking is complicated, Toad licking is risky, tree frogs, tree frogs coming out in the rain, What's up with the 25% Bermudian toad abnormality? Not cool.
I’m told by my betters, and there are many, that toad licking is just soooo 1971. Oddly enough, peyote is all the rage (again). Must be all those New Agers in Sedona, exporting and extolling the desert devil potion, err, I mean, button.
Then again, when in Rome… Sure you could get poisoned on toad juice and suffer hideous side effects and be trapped in a God-aweful NHS hospital for weeks on end, but what, really, are the odds on that happening? Live a little.
And may the Dream Police remain at bay.
Bermuda has those toads you lick that supposedly get you high? Is that when you kiss the frog and then it turns out to be a handsome Prince, and then he… well, gets you high?
Interesting, except for my total incapacity to discern male and female toads, which could end up with me being analized by a member of the anura order. So I agree with you. No licking greenish creatures, thanks.
I made the same mental association with “the abnormal frog and the acid rains filtering rooftops”. A good name for a local rock band, I guess…
Slightly unrelated, at first I read “three frogs”, instead of “tree”, and that reminded me of the Budweiser add, you remember that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVcbasIb8lQ
I had lots of fun (nothing intelligent, nor anything) with that, for a time. A friend and I used to play golf together, and once, we had this stupid idea of “frog rating” every drive we made. So if the hit was poor, we would croak “Bad”, if the hit was good, then it was “Wise”, and if it was not remarkable, it was “Er…”
Nothing really funny, on that, until we played together with someone else for the first time. Who happened to be my very serious and almost pro-player boss, who played an incredible driver out of the 1st hole tee, immediately followed by a perfectly synchronous “Wise” croak from both of us.
He didn´t understand anything, but much less when after 17 other holes, we always came out with different synchronous croaks, but always coinciding without even looking at each other.
That was the only time in my life I beat him.
Frog magic.
“Wise…”