On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
It’s the first day of Christmas (a.k.a. twelve to go), isn’t it?
I know this because of this holiday decoration I have. It’s a stuffed gingerbread man holding a chalkboard that says “Days until Christmas.” It came with a little piece of chalk, and in theory you’re excited enough about the countdown that you update the number each day.
In my case, it will probably not change from 13. Except maybe on either the 22nd or Christmas eve, when I suppose it wouldn’t be too much effort for me to erase either the one or the three.
Me with tree
Anyway, because I was the final host of a progressive Christmas party last night, I went whole hog and decorated the place in a highly festive manner. Although there was a small part of my brain that couldn’t shake the thought that this was a massive waste of time, the place looks amazing. In other words, it’s the kind of waste of time that’s maybe worth it.
At any rate, the gingerbread guy was part of the decking of the halls. I have a thing for gingerbread men. Not the cookie so much as the decorative concept. When I used to work in an office, word leaked out and people would give me all kinds of gingerbread men: trinkets and decorations and mugs and platters and spreaders and bowls and most of all ornaments. Thus the guy on my kitchen counter. A gift from a friend.
Thankfully word never traveled too far about my Hello Kitty obsession, because that stuff is embarrassing. I do harbor a soft spot for her, but I have to be realistic here: I’m simply too old to have a toaster that imprints the face of Hello Kitty into a piece of bread. And although I’m attracted to the sight of her sweet happy face emblazoned across a sweatshirt or the same visage fashioned into a purse, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I covet the luggage, I know it is not a look that is doing me any favors.
The gingerbread man thing in question. I guess the chalkboard says more than I realized...
Anyway, today on my run it occurred to me that in addition to being very busy and distracted by a number of things, I don’t always have something entertaining to tell you. And so maybe I need a gimmick. You know, something I fall back on when I have no amusing stories?
So in honor of that, I will do my very best to share some thoughts on each of these days of Christmas, the twelve days of Christmas, whatever the hell that means. It does kind of get me wondering though: What is that song about anyway? I mean, why all the weird crap? If you were going to get me twelve of something, make it twelve pairs of shoes or twelve great-fitting pairs of jeans or twelve bottles of champagne or twelve books.
Keep the drummers drumming for yourself.
And as for a partridge in a pear tree, I’d be fine with the pear tree (although I’m not sure this is the best climate for pears. It’s good for apples and cherries.) but I’ll probably take a pass on the partridge. Or is that something you eat? We have a lot of quail here, and to me they look like the same thing, and I know you can eat quail, although I never have. I have had a quail egg, though. Anyway, I’d take the partridge if you cooked it. Although, if we’re going to lay it on the line, I would greatly prefer a gift card for Victoria’s Secret. Just sayin’.
Me with tree...and no flash
p.s.
Now that I’ve written this thing I made the bad decision to search “Twelve Days of Christmas wiki” and now I know that the twelve days in question are December 25 to January 5. So go figure. I stand corrected yet again.
p.p.s.
Whatever. I’m sticking with this anyway. Come Christmas maybe we’ll start all over again. Or maybe not.
p.p.p.s.
Sometimes, especially if I’ve been drinking, I miss you Hello Kitty toaster.
p.p.p.p.s.
There must be a cultural misunderstanding here in the U.S. I was watching Comedy Central tonight, and they are having the “Thirteen Days of Christmas,’ and it’s a countdown to Christmas (rather than celebrating the almost two weeks afterward.)
p.p.p.p.p.s.
Hugh Laurie is guest starring on Family Guy tonight, playing his character from House!!!
Tags: adult women with Hello Kitty obsessions, gingerbread men, humorous blog, I am wearing Hello Kitty pajama bottoms right now, I can't believe Christmas is in twelve (almost eleven) days. I now feel suddenly panicked. I've bought nothing., I like gingersnaps but I'm not a huge fan of cookies in general, I limit the Hello Kitty to pajamas so that no one ever sees them, I love gingerbread stuff, I much prefer gingerbread men ornaments to real gingerbread men., I thought the 12 days of Christmas were a countdown to Christmas, I'm watching that new Family Guy spinoff the Cleveland Show. It started out pretty un-funny but it's getting better., Life, me me me, The 12 days of Christmas, The Hangover is coming out on DVD on Tuesday! Yay!, The Twelve days of Christmas, What gives with the crappy twelve days of Christmas gifts?, What? The 12 days of Christmas starts on Christmas?
“progressive Christmas party”
What does that even mean??? A bore with no alcohol served? No drunken co-workers hooking up afterward potentially resulting in someone’s messy divorce? No one walking around with their pants off providing fodder into the new year? No wretched holiday songs playing in a loop? You must explain!
I LOVE these theories, but unfortunately it’s not that exciting: It merely means a party that starts at one house and an hour later moves to the next house and then the next house… It’s a forced march, but not quite so extreme as the Battan Death March or anything.
As the last house, I had three hours of guests (versus ones)…but it was fun. And alcohol-laden.
And NO shady hookups.
(Note to self: Move to a more interesting neighborhood.)