Nine Ladies Dancing

Well it’s pretty clear what this is.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love took me to see The Rockettes.

That has to be it, right?

If not that, it’s a strip club.

I guess it depends on the kind of guy you’ve snagged: “Metrosexual, hair’s-breath-away-from-being-gay, Broadway-loving fancy pants” or “100% straight, man’s man, red-blooded dirt bag.”

If anything in between, there will probably not be nine ladies of any kind dancing.

If the former, well…I just hope the Rockettes’ high kick exceeds his.

If the latter, it’s more like, “On the ninth day of Christmas, my douche bag boyfriend gave himself a gift and decided to pawn it off like something for me.”

I hate that. If you ask me, lingerie is the same exact thing. Lingerie is not a gift for me.

I have no desire – let alone need – to spend twenty minutes fastening 200 small hooks on the back of a bustier or figuring out how to clip thigh-highs onto a merry-widow. And don’t even get me started on the whole thigh-high modesty management thing, including but not limited to:

• Downward slippage
• Coming unhookedness
• Proper skirt length so as to prevent exposure to others not involved in the purchasing of related enjoyment of said thigh-high hosiery.
• Leg crossing absolutes – DO NOT, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, etc.

In other words, men, what your women want is pretty much anything but lingerie. Clothes, perfume, jewelry, sushi, books, DVDs, candies, gift cards, champagne and oysters, blank checks, cash…we’ll take it.

You can buy lingerie, but don’t go confusing it as a gift for her.

Same goes for the nine ladies dancing.

Any questions?

Good?

Good.

Tags: Guess I'd better write whatever ten is right now., Humor, humorous blog, I'm freaking tired...as usual., I'm not down with the strip club scene. Do what you want just don't date me., Life, lingerie as a gift, lingerie is not a gift, lingerie is only a gift if it's given to a man, lingerie is only a gift if it's given to a man...or better yet worn for him, Man this blog a day thing is a grind, me me me, My dad's friend was the father of the Rockette that was murdered in Central Park once upon a time, nine ladies dancing, Some men love strippers, strippers, The Rockettes, To me a man that loves strippers is a walking talking "WRONG WAY" sign, Tomorrow I have to run my mother around starting at 7am and then drive back and probably won't get there until very late if not after midnight., ugh

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