Legend has it that tough financial times lead to longer skirts. Apparently the fashion houses are introducing floor length mu-mu type dresses, so it’s good to know they’re keeping the folklore going strong.

Meanwhile, Google Trends validated the existence of the “lipstick index.” Apparently Estee Lauder Chairman Leonard Lauder noted that lipstick sales surged after 9/11. Similarly, the New York Times has noted that lipstick sales have increased 40% in the last few months. Luxury brands have increased as much as several hundred percent.

It occurs to me this could be some form of subtle suicide, intended to keep the life insurance policies of the well-to-do in place. A couple months ago, a friend of mine sent me an e-mail warning that several high-end lipsticks contain lead, apparently enough to (potentially) cause breast cancer. For those of you with the budget for the good stuff, the lipstick brands that contain lead are: Christian Dior, Lancome, Clinique, Yves Saint Laurent, Estee Lauder, Shiseido, and Chanel.

Ick

In the same vein, when money is tighter, we apparently drink more. At home. And alone. While playing Russian Roulette. Or at least the first two. Brown Forman (BF) the maker of Jack Daniels and Finlandia Vodka reported that diluted earnings per share from continuing operations increased 13% to $0.94 and operating income increased 4% to $222 million for its fiscal 2009 second quarter. In other words, they’re making money even in a recession. Similarly disturbing news: Bud Light Chelada (a mix of beer and Clamato) has increased Anheiser Busch sales by 5%. And we wonder who elected George W. twice?

Finally, in perhaps the most alarming post-recession trend yet, chest hair is back. Not one to note such things, I was surprised to realize that the silver screen has been dominated by effeminate and waxed male torsos. However, chest hair is creeping back onto the scene. To quote The Daily Beast, “Are we yearning once again for leading manly men with comfortingly warm pelts in which to hide our anxious faces?” But of course.

A sure-fire sign of the times: A floor-length skirt, a living pelt on your arm, and a full flask tipped to your poisonous red lips. I like to see people making the best of a bad situation.