I saw this headline and – sight unseen (who has time to read such things???) – figured I could make a reasonable contribution in that regard. So here ya go.
Don’t say these at your own risk.
1. Snap out of it. I was depressed once, and then I snapped out of it. It’s easy.
2. Life’s a bitch and then you die.
3. Suck it up.
3. We’re all f*cked anyway.
4. Stop complaining. There are lots of people who have it worse than you.
5. “Am I in your will?” and/or “Can I have that when you’re dead?”
6. You did this to yourself. (i.e. “You made this bed and now you have to lie in it.”)
7. Quit whining.
8. I think you’re faking this ‘depression’ thing for pity. It’s nothing but ‘me, me, me: whine, whine, whine’ with you.
9. Even if you do kill yourself, I bet Hell isn’t as bad as they say.
10. What? Were you talking?