It has come to my attention that some (many?) of you have been unable to access the blog – in fact, and more accurately, the blog sent your web browser to a screaming halt – for MONTHS.
I imagine that means that some of you will never see this (i.e. never come back) so I wish you fond adieu and apologize for my dire and continued lack of network administration skills. I am a 100-year old woman when it comes to managing this website. It’s a wonder I can even figure out how to post.
On the other hand, since it seems the only browser impacted was Internet Explorer and since even more obviously Bill Gates has a serious issue with me (get over it, Bill. It was years ago, and I was – and remain – too young for you, although I’m not saying I don’t regret it on those cold nights I’m eating Kraft macaroni and cheese and drinking cheap beer while watching basic cable.), I suppose we can predict these things will happen again. In that event, allow me to share some crisis-management tips:
- The RSS works much like the post office (rain/sleet/snow/new versions of IE hate me)…or so I’m told.
- Stockpile three days of non-perishable food. I recommend Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
- Try a different web browser. (People I know who seem to be in the know recommend and use Firefox, which has the added benefit that – as far as I know – it has yet to turn on me.)
- Purchasing a gas mask is NOT recommended
- Send me an email, and I’ll do any system-wide WordPress upgrades I’ve been avoiding out of fear they’ll bring the whole world crashing down around me. The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
- Avoid puddles of liquid, particularly if they’re full of chemicals or toxic stuff or even just sticky mud.
- Do NOT immediately rush to the Emergency Room unless RSS, Firefox, Safari, Google Chrome, and Opera have failed and you simply cannot live without the blog. Hopefully someone there has a dual MD/MSCS degree and can get you some meds and hack into and fix the blog while you chill the f@ck out.
Otherwise, and as previously mentioned, welcome back and – a thousand times over – THANK YOU for actually coming back continually and after an unduly long and unnecessary and inexplicable absence. For you alone I shall strive to post better and more often and without the use of cheap staff in Banaglore. Your loyalty may some day be rewarded by a loyalty program or membership card or maybe even a unique gift chosen just for you!
But don’t hold your breath on that because – as previously mentioned – it’s really all I can do to keep this site up and running…barely. (What is this issue I have with typing “barfly” whenever I mean to type “barely”? A subtle, unconscious tribute to Bukowski? A desire to chuck it all and become a drunk? Late-onset dyslexia? And why doesn’t WordPress know about daylight savings time and realize it’s 6:15pm and not 5:15pm? And why do fools fall in love? And where oh where has my little dog gone?)
Seriously though…welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.