Now there are two new mothers for the world to look down on and judge harshly! Yay!
I know I said I’d catch you up on the rest of my trip, but that can wait. Seriously, have you seen these stories!?
First, winning the ‘you’re never too old to be an idiot’ prize:
A baby at 66 for Elizabeth Adeney – set to become Britain’s oldest mother
She may be an old mom, but she has youthful taste in keychains.
With her sizeable bump on show, this is Elizabeth Adeney – Britain’s oldest mother-to-be.
At 66, she is four years older than the previous record holder.
Mrs Adeney, who is around eight months pregnant, is believed to have undergone IVF abroad because most British clinics will not treat women over the age of 50.
Friends say that the divorcee, a wealthy businesswoman who is still working a five-day week, is in perfect health and looking forward to the birth of what is thought to be her first child.
But her pregnancy will reignite the debate over late motherhood and the ability of science to enable women in their 50s and 60s to become mothers.
Mrs Adeney will be just short of her 80th birthday when her child becomes a teenager.
A friend said she had been desperate to conceive for years.
Last year, she travelled to the Ukraine, where a controversial IVF clinic has helped countless women get pregnant using donor eggs and sperm.
The friend added: ‘She was desperate for a child. She was over the moon when she learned last year that she was pregnant and has been quite open about it – it’s not the sort of thing she can hide.
‘Elizabeth has had a pretty good pregnancy. She has been very well, considering her age – I’m amazed how she keeps going.
‘She does get up a little later in the mornings than she used to and sometimes spends an hour or two at home before going to work but she is still at her business Monday to Friday.’
Mrs Adeney, the managing director of a firm in Mildenhall, Suffolk, which produces plastic and textile products, is described by friends as ‘very bright and single-minded’.
Yesterday, she declined to discuss her condition.
Here’s my only issue with this: Seeing as this child is the product of a donor egg, it is in no way biologically related to her. Why do this? There are thousands of older children who need to be adopted, surely with her wealth (and a nanny) she could have helped one (or more) of them? Plus, if she adopted someone currently four or five or even eight or nine years old, she may actually live to be old enough to see them graduate from college. Just sayin’…
Second, winning the “I Thought This Only Happened With Dogs and Pigs” award:
Twin baby boys have two different fathers
A mother’s fling has resulted in her bearing twins – by different fathers.
At least the odd twin out isn't an albino.
Eleven-month-old Justin and Jordan Washington may have arrived in the world within just seven minutes of each other, but in an amazing twist of fate, they are half brothers.
Each has a different dad because their mother Mia Washington, had an affair and conceived two babies by different men at the same time.
The truth came out when Mia visited Clear Diagnostics DNA Lab after noticing the twins have different facial features.
A paternity test confirmed her fears – it showed there was only a 0.001 chance that Justin and Jordan have the same father.
‘It’s very crazy, most people don’t believe it can happen but it really can,’ said Genny Thibodeaux, from Clear Diagnostics DNA Lab.
According to doctors, if a woman has more than one sexual partner while she is ovulating, there’s a miniscule chance that different sperm cells can fertilise two separate eggs.
The couple is now coping with the aftermath of the DNA bombshell and plan to tell the twins when they’re old enough to understand.
Mia added: ‘When they opened the envelope and delivered the news they told me there was zero chance that James was Justin’s father.
‘My jaw dropped open.
‘It was the weirdest thing to think that two little babies could have grown in my stomach together and been born seven minutes apart but yet have different fathers.
‘I had never heard of it happening anywhere else in the world and literally had thought it would have been impossible.
‘James said he would stay because he loved me and raise both of the twins as his own.’
Well, I suppose when they’re old enough to understand the word ‘slut’, it won’t be too hard to explain the circumstances to the little guys…
Meanwhile, I thought I should add that the caption on one of the photos of the happy family indicated that Mia was soon to deliver a third baby.
Good for you, James. And good luck. To quote George Bernard Shaw: We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.