Here’s a bunch of random stuff from my phone from the last couple weeks that I really should delete.

I am sharing it with you so that those things that briefly fascinated me (or seemed to hold enough potential that I was moved to take a picture at that time, but then that was all that ever happened) are not lost to the world.

Bask in the wonderment of it all.

Unlike the dog, it knows to wait until the little green guy appears.

Some days I like to take my vacuum cleaner out for a walk. It enjoys the exercise, and I appreciate the quiet time together.

Just your average day: on a stroll with the wet vac.

I’m just kidding. The dog keeps lifting his leg (indoors) and I had to buy a steam cleaner off Craigslist. I talked the lady into bringing it to me…sort of. She agreed to meet, so long as it was an exit of I-5. Thus, I had to walk up there and then drag it through town and back to the apartment where I commenced an exciting afternoon of wetting down and sucking up urine stains. A$$hole. He’s damn lucky he’s so cute.

He's turning Japanese. I really think so.

See what I mean? He’s so stinking cute. And looking a bit Asian in this photo. And that’s the root of the problem: who can really stay mad at a face like that???

I love Pho, and - clearly - Pho loves me.

I think the waiter at the Vietnamese place was trying to tell me something…

REALLY?

If you had your choice between wearing a Hefty Heavy Duty Trash Bag in public and getting wet…wouldn’t you just get wet? Yeah. Me too.

This is from a book in my office. It makes me laugh AND it's sound advice.

See caption. I pretty much told you all there is to tell you on this one.

Bathroom stall wisdom.

This was from the bathroom stall at El Corazon, taken the night my friend Karen performed there. I was – roughly – three beers along when it seemed like a good idea to photograph this.

Simple pleasures.

Admit it: who doesn’t enjoy tearing the crap out of a cardboard box?

Damn, that's an ugly necktie.

This necktie was discarded in the stairwell, and I briefly thought maybe it was another pineapple in the elevator moment. But then I took a better look at the photo and realized this was not that in the least.

It’s still there, by the way, if you’re interested.

I did not know this.

Sometimes insane people identify themselves by covering their homes in signs preaching excess craziness. I find this not only considerate, but helpful. Cross this guy off the trick or treating list…

This lady chaps my hide.

This is the pigeon and seagull (equal opportunity) feeding lady, because who doesn’t love a swarm of overfed, avian jumbo jets spewing crap from the sky? Plus she always acts like the dog is the Anti-Christ when he goes after the bread chunks and scares off the poop bombers, thus proving that in the battle for his soul, the angels are currently winning. At least at the moment…

Me and the rarely-photographed Fu, partly because he doens't like it and partly because - let's face facts here - his face is really dark and doesn't exactly photograph well.

Me and my monkey cat. No doubt he’s considering how hard he’ll need to claw me before I’ll get the camera out of his face and put him down. “I’ll cut you, lady! I’ll cut you!”

If anyone ever Googles "Carpet cleaner in a crosswalk" and then selects images, I hope at least this one ranks high.

It’s like the Abbey Road album cover, only with superior sound quality: I propose  00:47:26 of the sound of a vacuum cleaner running would be more pleasant.

Oh, wait. I just looked it up and “Here Comes the Sun” is on that album. I take that back: they’d be equally pleasant.