I saw this headline and – sight unseen (who has time to read such things???) – figured I could make a reasonable contribution in that regard. So here ya go.

Don’t say these at your own risk.

This is what a PET scan for depression looks like. Wild.

1. Snap out of it. I was depressed once, and then I snapped out of it. It’s easy.

2. Life’s a bitch and then you die.

3. Suck it up.

3. We’re all f*cked anyway.

4. Stop complaining. There are lots of people who have it worse than you.

5. “Am I in your will?” and/or “Can I have that when you’re dead?”

6. You did this to yourself. (i.e. “You made this bed and now you have to lie in it.”)

7. Quit whining.

8. I think you’re faking this ‘depression’ thing for pity. It’s nothing but ‘me, me, me: whine, whine, whine’ with you.

9. Even if you do kill yourself, I bet Hell isn’t as bad as they say.

10. What? Were you talking?