I was a Dead Head for a while in my early 20s…until Jerry died and I could never get into Phish and kind of gave up the whole dirty hippie thing altogether. I actually saw them play in Eugene the summer he died – my primary memory is that suntan lotion sweated into my eyes and burned like a demon for hours on end, but I digress…

The request for a miracle is how people at a Grateful Dead concert used to identify themselves in need of a (free) ticket, but just so we’re all clear: I don’t need a ticket to a Grateful Dead tribute band or Phish or String Cheese Incident or even a The National concert (although I would snatch up the ticket to the last one); I need a dehydrator.

The exact dehydrator I want/need is, ahem, right here in my Amazon wish list.

Glance over. Don’t be afraid. To the right. There you go. It’s been there for weeks.

Yes, it’s $219 $169 dollars, but I neeeeeeeed it.

And my complete switch to a raw vegan diet (or mostly raw vegan, I am going to allow myself to have sushi or some turkey on Thanksgiving or whatever my body wants when it wants it) will help me to stay healthy and vibrant so I can continue delighting you with my pointless stories about nothing.

Yay!!!!

Dehydrator!!!!

What’s that?

No?

Not compelling enough?

Okay, okay. Back to the drawing board: how well do you stomach guilt?

For example, it was just my birthday last week. What did you get me? Did you send a card? How about an email wishing me well and asking how I’m coping with all this change and chaos in my life? Did you even remember?

Wow. I bet you feel guilty.

It’s okay. I understand, and I think we’d both feel better if you bought me this dehydrator.

No?

That’s not hitting you where it hurts either?

Religious much? Worried that God might smite you? I can see why, with your selfish birthday wish forgetting and all.

Maybe God will let you into Heaven if you get me this dehydrator.

I’m not saying He will, per se. I’m just saying it’s something to consider when you’re praying to Him and asking for stuff or balancing your checkbook and noting you have a spare $219 $169 lying around and feeling grateful for how good God has been to you: surely He’d want you to share some of your abundance with the lady providing you with (once again regular!) heathen blogging joy.

Meanwhile, and perhaps better explaining this sudden dehydrator begging spree, I spent the better part of the day at a raw food nutrition class. I went into it dubious, but I was wrong. In short, in addition to demonstrating a number of shockingly delicious recipes (many made with a dehydrator. ***sniffle***) she has a PhD in nutrition and explained how you can and should get all the nutrients your body needs from whole food rather than choking down vitamins (which can cause your body to do MORE work, but I won’t digress into all this unless because it’s probably not interesting and it’s even more unlikely I’ll quote her correctly) . To me, however, it was truly fascinating and brought together a lot of stuff I’ve been studying (alkalinity, magnesium deficiencies, Omega-3 fatty acids) and piecing together on my own. Plus the woman said she felt she could help me cure my chronic pain issue (it’s a bladder thing: VERY painful when it flares), which leaves me awestruck and amazed and very, very hopeful.

So anywho, it was incredibly hot today – it had to be 90 at least – and I felt pretty guilty leaving the dog at home. Thankfully, he is always a good sport and happy to see me. Thank you Hipstamatic for helping me capture the moment!!!

Plugging my own self…very subtly, as I don’t necessarily want y’all calling me (unless you’re calling me for a session you plan to pay for. Then call away!)