Posts Tagged ‘I kind of want a ukulele too’

Some days are harder than others

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

And writing this is harder lately.

I’m okay for the most part, but I don’t quite feel like my snarky or comedic self. What I’m inclined to talk about are the parts of me that don’t feel fine, but then I’m not sure I should. First, it’s a downer, and second, it’s probably not that interesting.

I feel like a 13-year old girl: wildly emotional and way overly eager to analyze everything. I live and die by small gestures or tones of voice. It’s like e. e. cummings once wrote, ”

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

 

Tom Petty had it right – “The waiting is the hardest part” – yet I continue to wait. It’s been nearly two weeks here in limbo, and I suppose I’m getting used to it. On the upside, I’m getting things done: working through the edits on the latest book, dealing with other tasks and obligations, building my business. I have two new clients and that’s comforting.

It’s also a huge honor. Listening to people share their stories and their pain, being present as they look up at you hoping for some relief or some help. The most miraculous part is that what I do does help, to the extent that one woman showered the top of my head with kisses after the session was over. It’s a real blessing to assist others in a process that alleviates their pain, especially when you are so raw with your own.

So I’ve been busy. Whenever my mind starts to go off into the weeds of panic and fear, I just force it back on the thin, overgrown trail of work and goals and focusing on those things I can control. This too, shall pass, and until then I will do my best to keep blogging and hopefully find something funny or at least useful to say.

In the meantime, enjoy one of my favorite Ani DiFranco songs. I’ve been working it out on my new – $40, which also included an amp, stand, and tuner. If Craigslist were a sport, I could medal – electric guitar. It’s not what I wanted – what I REALLY want costs $1400, and the knockoff (as it were) is still $300 – but hey, it was cheap, and for now cheap is the name of the game.

 

 

maui past lives

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