Blame it on the rain.

Or the editing.

Or the fact that I’m not allowed to blog about my dad (which really is a crying shame, because I have got some delightful, whimsical anecdotes I could share. At least in my opinion. He may not find them quite as delightful or whimsical or anecdotal as I do, which is why the general embargo is imposed with respect to utilizing him or any of my loved ones as blog fodder. I just don’t go there, no matter how hilarious or  absurd or humiliating it might be…)

Thus, my principles firmly in place, there isn’t much to report.

Me. On a day warmer than today. A day like yesterday. Which today is not.

I am currently sitting in a Panera Bread in Chevy Chase, Maryland enjoying a vanilla latte and a sesame bagel sandwich while my beloved friend teaches a class that I think started out as English lessons but has become a discussion of American cultural oddities like monster truck drives, plastic surgery obsessed reality TV “stars”, and hoarding.

Maybe I should have gone and listened in on that?

Instead, I’m eavesdropping in on these blowhards at the table adjacent to me planning (what I have extrapolated is) a radio news show. I haven’t been able to determine the station, but fortunately I don’t live here, so avoiding it shouldn’t be too difficult.

Some of the highlights:

“You are wrong. That idea is idiotic. It’s total bullshit.”

(The one guy doesn’t say much, but when he does, it’s incredibly rude.)

“What is this show ‘Lost’ really about? What is the deal with Jake? Why doesn’t that one guy have a name, but he can smoke cigars? What’s his name, Cigar? Hahaha!!! Seriously, can we find an ersatz scholar to discuss all this on the show?”

“Ann Coulter will play. I guarantee it. In fact, it might be interesting to have her come in and talk about moss.”

“Every segment I will tease. That will be my goal in life. I’ll spend half the show teasing. It’s all about the teasing. Teasing is what I must do.”

I wholeheartedly agree. Teasing is what we all must do. That and talk about moss. And Lost. Although I’ve never seen a single episode of Lost, so I probably wouldn’t qualify as the ersatz scholar they’re looking for. Want to talk about Project Runway or True Blood, however…and let’s talk pay rate.

Perhaps this break from editing to listen in on this nonsense will come to be recalled as time well spent?

We’ll see how my new, stolen lost moss teasing programming goes over and judge then, shall we?