Yep. That's me. Working a green afro. Drinking green beer. Wearing a 'Green Beer Taste Tester' t-shirt. Go big or go home.

Not from the alcohol so much as the green food coloring. I don’t know if they do that everywhere, but in the U.S. we like to take our cheapest beer – typically Budweiser – and make it just a little bit worse by adding copious amounts of green dye to it. I already celebrated the occasion on Saturday, and it’s unlikely I’ll be up for an encore tonight. Regardless, my sincerest and most slurred “Slainte” to you all!

In other news, the lady who checked me out at Wal-mart (yes. Wal-Mart. I go for the irresistible rolled back prices. I stay for the opportunity to hobnob with some of humanity’s more unique and peculiar offerings. The mistakes, if you will.) told me very excitedly that she KNOWS spring is coming. It is fact. It is universal law.

How does she know this?
Because she saw a fly.

Ummmmm…  Newsflash. I’ve got a whole community of fruit flies living in my kitchen. I’ve been keeping them happy and healthy all winter long. They are not a sign of anything. Except inferior housekeeping and cleaning skills.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for wishful thinking. I engage in it every day.

I just don’t know that you should declare your hope-based seasonal hypothesis as fact; especially when it’s sideways snowing outside.

You know you're in a dangerous place when a lion looks freaked out.

Meanwhile, and perhaps on a related note, although I realize one shouldn’t take life advice from Facebook quizzes…the “Where should you live?” quiz has gotten under my skin. I did it yesterday and despite my secret hope for Fiji or Hawaii, I got the answer of Afrika (and why it’s spelled with a “k” I really couldn’t say), “You belong in Africa, where everything is wild. You’re someone who wants to get away from the material world. Maybe you’re someone who likes to help the people there, or maybe you just want to be somewhere where the sun shines all the time and where the people are still down to earth and always have a smile on their faces. You don’t mind the danger of wild animals, you want an adventurous life.”

That was unexpected.  I think it was the choice to eat chicken with my hands that landed me on the Dark Continent.

On the other hand, the more I think about it, the more I’m kind of digging it.

Facebook is right! I DO belong in Africa! I DO want the sun to shine all the time, and I’m tired of American excess, and I’m not afraid to die in the teeth of a wild animal. No, wait. I AM afraid to do in the teeth of a wild animal, but I can learn…