I’m on a real roll.
Wait, let me rephrase: Mysterious supernatural forces are doing strange things to the blog, and I am seemingly powerless to stop them. I wonder if George Carlin has got his own magical telephone booth in heaven? That would certainly clear up some of the mystery.
(Does anyone have any idea what I’m talking about? I’m going to leave this as-is, regardless, but I do realize I’m being a bit obtuse. Okay, very obtuse. Unless you love Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Then you know exactly what I’m talking about, and I can add this thought, and you’ll appreciate it: This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told, two hours ago totally ravaged Oshman’s Sporting Goods.)
That stated, to anyone wondering if you’ve recently seen an inadvisable and slightly alarming photo of me that may or may not be misinterpreted such that it could’ve been a feature spread in an oversized vegetable skin rag…you were imaging things. It’s not here now, is it?
So clearly it never existed.
That’s the rule: You don’t see it now, it never happened.
This is my blog. I make whatever freaking rules I want.
In other news, perhaps you thought you read a rambling snippet of a blog idea (which was going to be about my duress at having two of my treasured childhood books made into movies and released within weeks of each other: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and Where the Wild Things Are. Why must they keep destroying everything I loved??? Were Land of the Lost and A Wrinkle in Time not enough? It’s probably a matter of minutes before someone redoes Mary Poppins with the kids from High School Musical)?
Anyway, diatribe aside, apparently someone snuck into my house in the middle of the night and hit the ‘publish’ button instead of the ‘save draft’ button (the ‘publish button is dark blue and so very alluring. It’s understandable. Right???) and left that tripe up there for several unauthorized hours.
In fact, I think that same person had something to do with the photo that never was.
And yes, that same person is my semi-functional and not very clever middle of the night alter-ego, who – for the good of us all – should be sent to bed by 11pm and never, ever be allowed around the blog again.
So I’ll get to work on that. (Note to self: purchase vast array of ropes, handcuffs, and sleeping pills…and possibly a gag of some sort, lest I decide to take up vlogging at 2am.)
In the meantime, forget about what you may or may not have seen.
Push it out of your pretty little head, and enjoy some random photos my father sent me from our trip a couple weeks ago. Mazal tov!
Did anyone see the footage of that red dust storm in Sydney? Or is anyone in Sydney?
I imagine the Swiffer duster people are about to make some serious bank. If they sell Swiffers in Australia? No? How about Pledge?
Has anyone seen Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs? Was it good? Did you read the book, too? Did you LOVE the book, and wished you lived in Chewandswallow? Can you still see the image of the fancy couple eating overcooked broccoli in a fine restaurant in your mind?
Can you? CAN YOU???
I loved that book so friggin’ much.
I went through this phase where I was obsessed with my tape recorder and would record EVERYTHING (For example: I would record myself reading the Sunday comics out loud and describing them. And yes, that’s as painful as it sounds), and my dad would sometimes play along. I remember one tape (that I listened to over and over) where he gave these fake weather reports from all over the world, and it was raining fish and rice in Japan!
I just feel like there’s no way they could do justice to my treasured childhood memory with a movie.
Especially a movie where Mr. T provides one of the voices. ***shudder***