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Surreality

Friday, April 2nd, 2010

So let’s all share a surreal moment here.

This picture - taken on the side of the highway - took about 25 tries to get. And it still didn't capture all the mountains in the distance. I still like it anyway.

I’m in Mexico.

For like a month now.

Maybe longer? I’ve lost count.

And every 10 days my mother sends a barrage of panicked emails convinced that I’m dead.

And I’ve been living in this bare bones round house, and it was slowly driving me crazy.

And ants would walk on me at night when I was trying to sleep.

And the sheets were really cheap and pilly and I have a thing about sheets. I’ve been known to get all prima donna at hotels and make them bring me sheets and sheets and sheets because all of them are horrible or starchy and scratchy and not soft.

Sheets need to be soft.

Your skin is all over the stuff. (Some of us more than others). Scratchy is not okay.

Let’s add to the insanity:

One of the last days in the pink house

I’m writing a book about Jesus.

Well, a “What if God was one of us?” Jesus as a clone book, but still.

The entire plot follows scripture.

So I read scripture every day.

And then I read an hour or two of discourse and analysis and praise on scriptures. And then I read people’s sermons. And then I read blogs.

And then I let it percolate.

And then I write.

So I am a woman knee-deep in Jesus who is NOT actually a religious Jesus person and probably doesn’t believe in Jesus the way you would think someone writing about Jesus would.

Don’t get me wrong: I think he was an amazing dude with an incredible message, I just think it’s all gotten a little effed up along the way.

Thus, my book.

A not-so-subtle reminder of the real message.

Anyway, I digress.

Since I’m not a religious person, I’ve decided to stick to the very purest Jesus messages (do unto others, control your anger/turn the other cheek, love thy neighbor, do not fear, believe, have faith) and have achieved something of a Christian/New Age middle ground. More positivity, less God, if you will.

And I spend a lot of time drumming up my own positivity and best thoughts and highest aspirations to write as the ‘new’ Jesus might.

And maybe it’s starting to rub off on me?

Because check this sh*t out: I made the last-minute decision (see: Changed flight fifteen hours before it was due to leave) to stay on and finish the book.

And then the lady renting the place I’d lined up in the same town fell off the face of the earth.

And there was serious chaos.

And in the last LAST minutes (see ten minutes before I had to be out of my old house and give back the wifi connection, which is why I’m writing you now with no clear way to post this) I rented another one up by La Paz.

For less.

And with two bedrooms.

And real sheetrock.

And air conditioning.

AND A FUCKING POOL, BABIES!!!!!!!

You read that right: Cheaper, bigger, better, and with a pool.

Who can deny that faith and love and positivity and happy thoughts and feeling lucky don’t pay off?

I sure can’t.

(Only issue is wifi device they gave me doesn’t work with my Mac, so I’m in a coffee shop + have to hustle. More soon.)

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