For the second time in a row…

For the second day in a row…

I wrote a lengthy (and no doubt genius) post and hit ’save’ and then it disappeared into the ethers.

The first was about Burmese pythons taking over the world.

And tonight’s was about this ridiculous writing contest where I really need the prize money, but choke in disgust on the topic (“Roses on the windshield – Barftastic stories of smooshy love and stuff.”)

And it’s late.
And tomorrow I fly across the state and hopefully don’t contract swine flu.

A word to all travelers with fluish symptoms with plans to board planes in Washington state tomorrow (the Typhoid Marys, if you will): If you infect me with your freaky mutated multi-animal gened flu bug, and I get it, and I die, I will haunt your @ss into the grave. And then I’ll haunt your ancestors.

Why not? I’m dead. I have nothing better to do.

Jacob Marley will have nothing on me.
I’ll be out there with the chains and the moaning and the midnight shrieks and the door slamming and the super-scary ‘dining room chairs stacked up in a pyramid on top of the table’ trick. That’s some spooky sh*t. It will not be good for your stress level.

Remember that movie with Michelle Pfieffer? I’ll run your bathtub and overflow it and show up in it all seaweed-y and angry and scary as hell floating in the water. And I’ll write on your steamed-up mirror. Stuff like “Oink. Oink.” and “You suck!”

You like that?
No?

I didn’t think so.

So keep your freaky germs to yourself.

You’ve been warned…

That’s the sound of my brain melting.

Smells kinda good, doesn’t it?

Giant Mystery Blob Discovered Near Dawn of Time

A newly found primordial blob may represent the most massive object ever discovered in the early universe, researchers announced today.

The gas cloud, spotted from 12.9 billion light-years away, could signal the earliest stages of galaxy formation back when the universe was just 800 million years old.

Ah, yes. Of course. NOW I remember when this happened...

A light-year is the distance light travels in a year, about 6 trillion miles (10 trillion kilometers). An object 12.9 billion light-years away is seen as it existed 12.9 billion years ago, and the light is just now arriving.

 The cloud predates similar blobs, known as Lyman-Alpha blobs, which existed when the universe was 2 billion to 3 billion years old. Researchers named their new find Himiko, after an ancient Japanese queen with an equally murky past.

 

Himiko holds more than 10 times as much mass as the next largest object found in the early universe, or roughly the equivalent mass of 40 billion suns. At 55,000 light years across, it spans about half the diameter of our Milky Way Galaxy.

Lyman-Alpha blobs remain a mystery because existing telescopes have a hard time peering so far back to nearly the dawn of the universe.

Himiko sits right on the doorstep of an era called the reionization epoch, which lasted between 200 million and 1 billion years after the Big Bang. That’s when the universe had just emerged from its cosmic dark ages and had begun brightening through the formation of stars and galaxies. Hot, energized hydrogen gas from that time period has allowed astronomers to begin seeing some objects — as much good as it does to squint at such fuzzy blobs.

Okay, so wha…?

what?

WHAT?

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