At least in terms of my willingness to wear a wig or change my actual hair.

Black is too...black. I think it kind of washes me out.

There was a time I would not change my hair: it was all one length and very long and had been that way forever and the mere thought of cutting even a few inches was distressing. I would have dreams that someone took a chunk out of my hair and wake up stressed out and agitated.

In hindsight, it was probably a lot more drab and boring than I ever realized, and I probably could have been an extra on Big Love…as one of The Prophet’s followers living on the compound. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t in Crystal Gale or Cousin It territory, but it was still bad.

So we’ve established I had very long hair and was emotionally attached to it. Enter a major break-up. I remember standing in my kitchen and Lisa Bonet was on Behind the Music or some such thing talking about her break-up with Lenny Kravitz. And there was some story about how he came to see her at her recording studio somewhere in the Caribbean a few years later, and they were cool the way you (hopefully) are a few years later, and during the course of events he asked her to cut his trademark long hair. She said he stated, “You hold a lot of energy in your hair.”

I know it’s Lenny Kravitz and taking life advice from Lenny Kravitz is maybe not advisable the way it would be from the Dalai Lama or Gandhi, but neither one of them had very good hair. Moreover, I kind of couldn’t help it: I knew exactly what Lenny was talking about.

Excellent spy hair.

I also thought about how 98% of the atoms in our bodies are replaced in one year’s time, and somehow this collided in a significant emotional cyclone, which ultimately resulted in me marching into the salon and having my hair cut super short. Short like for the first time since I was a baby.

And it was pretty cute, but it turns it grows faster than most people’s, and I only liked it the first couple weeks after the haircut. After that, it started to get shaggy and weird and strange little curls, and I couldn’t handle it and grew it out again.

In other words, been there done that on the super short, but I have a haircut coming up in a few days, and I’m thinking of yet another change. I think we’re looking at dark brown and maybe an angled bob.

I have no idea what this endless restlessness and need for change is all about, but I suppose it’s better than drug addiction or becoming a mercenary. Actually, I think I might make a fine soldier of fortune if it weren’t for the whole armed conflict part. Admittedly, with the proper mix of Jack Daniels and love-gone-bad-fueled rage, I could give Courtney Love a run for her money, but I prefer not to work myself into such a lather on a regular basis.

Maybe if they had some kind of spy work where there was travel and intrigue and wigs and vinyl, but no actual danger or potential prosecution for treason? Pretty much sounds like the TV show Alias, and I probably missed my window to star in it.

This is a terribly cheap wig.

I suppose it’s just as well: I don’t really like Ben Affleck anyway.