File Under: Extreme Overreaction of the Day
Saturday, March 7th, 2009
I didn't even know 1984 had been made into a movie...
This is one of those yin/yang moments: Equal parts hilarious and Orwellian Thought Police.
Man angry about being put on hold threatens worker
KEENE, N.H. – A 69-year-old man angry about being put on hold has been charged with threatening to kill a Social Security Administration worker. Police said the man called a Social Security answering service in New York because he was upset about not receiving his check.
He told police he was on hold for more than 30 minutes, and when a supervisor finally told him she couldn’t help, he said he was going to kill the first person he met at the Social Security office in Keene.
The office was closed as a precaution. The man was arrested at his home and charged with criminal threatening. He said he was frustrated and said something stupid.
Once upon a time my mother was a Pan Am stewardess, but I never realized they made her dress like a Swami. WTF!?
I say stupid things every day. Thankfully I’m alone most of the time, so no one hears me. However, the other day I got really frustrated with the runaround they were giving me at the bank and icily declared that I would be returning the next day to close all my accounts. And did I? No. Of course not. I’m too lazy. And now I have to avoid that branch because I feel like a petulant jackass.
I’m sure this guy is the same way. If it’s too much work for me to change banks, its’s WAY too much work to drive to the Social Security office and kill someone. Think of the hassle! There’s getting a gun permit, making getaway plans, procuring fake passports, and don’t underestimate the agony of trying to get those persistant blood stains out of your coat.
Some of us just are hot heads. With big mouths. And bad impulses. Heck, it’s all I can do not to start tossing around a little bomb humor or telling hijacking jokes when going through security at the airport. There’s something in me that just likes to tempt fate. I know I shouldn’t, but I even have an inappropriate joke all ready:
What makes this super freaky is that from a distance and at a quick glance this could be my mother...and the person in the photo has the same first name!!!
A airplane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit
door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled
pilot, co-pilot, navigator and stewardess.
He held a gun to the pilot’s head and said, “Take this plane to Iraq or
I’m gonna spill your brains all over the place.”
The pilot calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and says, “Look buddy,
if you shoot me this plane will crash right into the sea and you’ll die
along with the rest of us.”
The hijacker thought about it, then held the gun to the co-pilot’s head
and said, “Take this plane to Iraq or I’m gonna spill HIS brains all
over the place.”
The co-pilot also calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said,
“Listen to me. The pilot’s got a bad heart and he could keel over at the
shock of my being killed. So if you shoot me, this plane will still
crash right into the sea and you’ll die along with the rest of us.”
The hijacker thought about it for a moment and then held the gun to the
navigator’s head and repeated, “Take this plane to Iraq or I’m gonna
spill HIS brains all over the place.”
The navigator calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, “I
wouldn’t do that if I were you. Those other two guys have no sense of
direction. Without me they couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag
much less get this plane to Iraq. So if you shoot me, this plane will
still crash right into the sea and you’ll die along with the rest of
us.”
The hijacker thought some more, shrugged and this time held the gun to
the stewardess’s head and demanded, “Take this plane to Iraq or I’m
gonna spill HER brains all over the place.”
No one says a word, but the stewardess leaned over and whispered
something into the hijacker’s ear. He turned beet red, dropped his gun,
and ran out of the cockpit in a panic. The crew tracked down the
hijacker, who was found cowering behind some crates in the hold, and
tied him up.
The pilot then asked the stewardess what she said that terrified the man
so. “I told him, sir,” she replied, “that if he killed me, he’d
be the one who’d have to give you guys your blowjobs.
