I like this question. It is one of my favorite questions, if not my very favorite. I ponder it myself on a regular basis to try to stay focused on what I really want out of my life and what truly matters to me. I ask other people if it seems appropriate or they seem to want to share and have someone else to bounce their thoughts off. Admittedly, as a society we’re out of practice. I have seen others become flummoxed or even distraught trying to answer it, probably because life doesn’t usually allow for such ‘frivolity’. However, for me it’s fun. What’s better than fantasizing about what could be?

Meanwhile, it suddenly occurs to me that there’s clear fork in the road when deciding how to progress on your pondering session:

1. If money were no object, what would I do?

versus

1. If money and talent, training, skill, aptitude, age, and health were no object, what would I do?

Because, at least for me, we’re talking two very different lists.

Under list number one:

• Write a book or two or five

• Travel the world

• Have a child

• Volunteer four months of every year to aid causes that matter to me

• Have a greenhouse and grow a significant portion of my own food

Under list number two:

• Write a book that reaches people and somehow adds something meaningful to their lives and then win the Nobel Prize for Literature

• Open a restaurant and prepare the best food anyone has ever eaten in the warmest and most festive environment they can imagine

• Win Project Runway

• Have a platinum album and perform a series of sold out concerts to thousands of screaming fans

• Receive an Academy Award for my stunning and original performance

You get the idea…

Simply put, in list number one I’m ‘practical’. I limit myself to what’s plausible or achievable or, perhaps, safe.

At the same time, when I stop and compare the two what I start to see is that maybe the real issue here isn’t talent or skill. Arguably, I could do most – or at least one – of these things if I applied myself and went after it with all my heart. True, I can’t sing or sew and I haven’t been to culinary school and I’m not 21 anymore, but I could teach myself or get lessons or simply try and learn from mentors and feedback and my own mistakes.

At the same time, if I really think it through all the way, I wouldn’t want everything else that comes with some of these ‘peak experiences’. Last time I checked, having my entire life distorted and splashed on the front of the tabloids didn’t look that appealing, and has anyone who’s famous ever said anything BUT ‘celebrity sucks’?

So maybe the real issue is what it always is – the battle of fear versus faith. And the ‘what if’ question in the grand form serves as a springboard to determine what we’d do if we didn’t worry about the usual crap and buy into the naysayers around us and lose our faith. There’s nothing wrong with craving peak experiences. Hell, we deserve them. What seems to go wrong is that the rest of the world gets in our way. Very rarely does someone else actually destroy or prevent the realization of our dreams, but they talk us out of it on the basis of practicality or remind us of our shortcomings or waste our precious time and we choose to listen to that more closely than we listen to our own inner sense of greatness.

That stated, I still think there’s value in making both lists: What would I do if I stopped worrying about money and what would I do if I completely and totally believed myself capable of anything? And then take a look and search your heart as to why you want to be a rock star or a movie star or a super model or a culinary god. If you’re like me, it’s because you want to be financially secure and own lots of cool stuff while having the world know you’re special and have them love you and, well, because you want to matter. You want to die knowing that you gave more than you got and you helped make this world a slightly better place.

Those things, I would argue, are within the reach of all of us. They may not involve a posse or a personal assistant or fighting off paparazzi, but I think every individual on this planet can find a way to shine like a star if they simply figure out what they want – really want underneath it all – and put their mind to it.

And that, my friends, is the kind of random crap I think about when I’m riding public transportation, and the man in the seat next to me cranes gratuitously to try to get a look at the monitor. And for today, I’m going to let him read to his heart’s content…