Welcome to day one of Project Move Three High-Strung Fancy Pants Cats to Bermuda.

This afternoon the six of us (three cats and their three human porters) head to Miami, where we will be spending the night, before a late afternoon continuation to Bermuda tomorrow. The two owners of the cats were quick to claim their under-the-seat-in-front-of-them companion, and I got stuck with the loud mouth.

Let me introduce you to the cast:

Jack Frost

Weighing in at 7.5 pounds…

Jack Frost.

Male Himalayan.

Approximately three years old.

Often referred to as “the good one” and not surprisingly, the first one upon whom ‘dibs’ was placed.

Jack will be traveling today with A, my friend’s boyfriend.

Charlotte

Weighing in at 5.5 pounds…

Charlotte

Female Persian (sporting a very attractive poodle cut at the moment)

Approximately nine years old

Often referred to as the ’sweet one’ and all but guaranteed to cower in silence in the corner of her travel bag the entire time.

Charlotte’s light, non-back-breaking frame will be transported by my friend, K, today.

Blueberry

Weighing in at a chiropractor visit-inducing 10.5 pounds…

Blueberry (whom I have dubbed “Big Boy.”)

Male Persian

Approximately three years old

Blue is a pistol.

From the moment this little adventure was revealed in all its glory, I was told “HE is going to be the problem.”

In addition, last night I was warned to keep and eye on him because ‘he’s probably going to take a dook in your suitcase.’

And that’s really unfortunate, because Blue has come to know my suitcase as a beloved second home.

Make yourself at home. I wasn't going to wear those pants, anyway.

So, I’ve already had two sleepless nights, I guess I may as well cap it off with a day of cat mewling.

My human travel companions were discussing how they were going to sit with their respective cat – within its travel sack – in their lap for the duration of the six hour flight.

Too bad for Blueberry.

In contrast, I plan to work on this here laptop editing and possibly recording some thoughts for you guys. Later, I will eat snacks and maybe play “Pocket God” on the iPod.

This is why you should never have more than two kids.

There simply isn’t enough love to go around.

On the upside, if Blueberry refrains from peeing on me or my stuff (he went on the closet floor last night in an obvious act of political protest), there may very well be a Swedish fish or other snack treat from my stash in his future.

I was hoping for a big jug of this with a spray gun to wear on my back, but due to strict TSA guidelines, I'll be flying without a net.

I’ve dubbed us ‘Team Badass’ and anyone endeavoring to the Seattle International or Miami International airports today (or staying at the Marriott by the airport tonight) had best eat their Wheaties this morning.

I’m insanely tired and cranky and Blueberry has a snaggletooth snarl and the moxie to go with it.

We’re in no mood to be messed with.

Just listen for the sound of cats yowling or sniff for the scent of urine and feces, and you’ll find us.

Please, no photos.

I don’t look so hot when I haven’t slept in days.